No, the post title is NOT a display of excitement. It's shock and awe. What am I talking about, you ask?
THE. TERRIBLE. TWOS.
Whoever discovered the trend of kids being bratty and so unbelievably annoying was a smart person. I guess it helps to have a label on this sporadic and quite draining behavior. It helps me feel I'm not alone and that I"m not cray. According to psychology, my 17 month old (almost 18!) will begin to act this way around this time.
What is "this way"? Well, autonomy, for one. He wants to do EVERYTHING HIMSELF. Which would be welcome if he was good at it. But hey, he's learning so I have to foster that. So I allow the cereal at breakfast to be spilled onto the highchair tray and eaten off, even if it's with his hands. At lunch, flying boiled carrots and peanut butter sandwiches are NOT a reminder that I'm living in a warzone--just that I'm living in the home of a young toddler "finding his way."
Then there's the tantrums. We haven't quite reached the peak of the tantrums, but they sure have started--just yesterday in fact! Yousef is not only finding his way, but also his voice--and consequently losing it. The throaty cry when he doesn't get what he wants (or when grandpa leaves our home) is starting to become a norm in this house--in JUST TWO DAYS! I mean seriously, who finds their voice that fast? :) Well, I know he means well, but this is where it gets really hard.
I mean, I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place--do I give in and spare myself the headache? Or do I let him stick it out until he realizes he's not getting his way. OF COURSE I'm an advocate of the second. It seems it would be a faster way OUT of the terrible two's, I'll just have to go out and buy me some more Tylenol. The hardest part about this, however, is convincing others close to Yousef that it is OK to let him cry it out. He will not be scarred for life if he doesn't get to watch a music video on my cell phone, nor will he resent me for the rest of his life if I deny him a piece of chocolate. He simply needs to learn discipline, respect, and patience.
I am bracing for this new adventure in raising my son, with a heavy heart knowing he's "all grown up" (trust me, I know we still have a long way to go, but in his short short life, this is a HUGE step). But I also face it with determination (hopefully unwavering) to stick to my guns. I know, I know, choose your battles is wise. But I guess I'll have to weigh my options to see which battles are worth fighting.
Oh, I almost forgot. A couple more words Yousef says:
-two
-titth (six)
-haat (give me please)
-go
That about wraps this post up. This momma is TIRED as heck. G'night all!
THE. TERRIBLE. TWOS.
Whoever discovered the trend of kids being bratty and so unbelievably annoying was a smart person. I guess it helps to have a label on this sporadic and quite draining behavior. It helps me feel I'm not alone and that I"m not cray. According to psychology, my 17 month old (almost 18!) will begin to act this way around this time.
What is "this way"? Well, autonomy, for one. He wants to do EVERYTHING HIMSELF. Which would be welcome if he was good at it. But hey, he's learning so I have to foster that. So I allow the cereal at breakfast to be spilled onto the highchair tray and eaten off, even if it's with his hands. At lunch, flying boiled carrots and peanut butter sandwiches are NOT a reminder that I'm living in a warzone--just that I'm living in the home of a young toddler "finding his way."
Then there's the tantrums. We haven't quite reached the peak of the tantrums, but they sure have started--just yesterday in fact! Yousef is not only finding his way, but also his voice--and consequently losing it. The throaty cry when he doesn't get what he wants (or when grandpa leaves our home) is starting to become a norm in this house--in JUST TWO DAYS! I mean seriously, who finds their voice that fast? :) Well, I know he means well, but this is where it gets really hard.
I mean, I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place--do I give in and spare myself the headache? Or do I let him stick it out until he realizes he's not getting his way. OF COURSE I'm an advocate of the second. It seems it would be a faster way OUT of the terrible two's, I'll just have to go out and buy me some more Tylenol. The hardest part about this, however, is convincing others close to Yousef that it is OK to let him cry it out. He will not be scarred for life if he doesn't get to watch a music video on my cell phone, nor will he resent me for the rest of his life if I deny him a piece of chocolate. He simply needs to learn discipline, respect, and patience.
I am bracing for this new adventure in raising my son, with a heavy heart knowing he's "all grown up" (trust me, I know we still have a long way to go, but in his short short life, this is a HUGE step). But I also face it with determination (hopefully unwavering) to stick to my guns. I know, I know, choose your battles is wise. But I guess I'll have to weigh my options to see which battles are worth fighting.
Oh, I almost forgot. A couple more words Yousef says:
-two
-titth (six)
-haat (give me please)
-go
That about wraps this post up. This momma is TIRED as heck. G'night all!
dont give in! i failed that with mimi, i let her 'find her way' too much and now my biggest battle with her is usually something stemming from her 'my way or the highway' attitude.
ReplyDeletesomething really struck me at a parenting seminar. they said how the first five yrs set the scene for the teenage yrs. think about it when ur a teenager ur 'finding ur way' and 'exploring ur environment' and 'testing your boundaries'...same things we see our lil tots doing. so how the first 5 yrs r handled will mirror how they handle their teenage yrs in which things r much more critical and we r not just talking about eating a piece of chocolate (God forbid any of our kids do anything horribly wrong but u know what i mean). so hearing that kinda rearranged my perspective and makes me want to teach em to have a conscious and to know there r boundaries and high expectations and consequences..of course ezier said than done!
on the other hand these years also set the scene for how they will learn to trust, form relationships, have attachments and commitments to people, etc. so i think thats where i get scared of alienating them or not leaving enough of an open door to live a lil n have fun with em n be adventurous and form their personality.
anyway im rambling now. who knew parenting could be so tricky? love ur reflections keep em coming :)
-suzy
Totally completely agree with Suzy. I'm no pro but I have been through the terrible two's and beyond. Stand your ground, and pick your battles (unfortunately there is not daily limit! haha!). All those times you thought "my child would never....." , well, this is that moment in time where you will inevitabley eat those words. The real parenting has just started....long gone are the fun baby days! :) Stay strong and enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post!!! I found myself in Micahel's the other day making my first "give in or stand your ground" decision.... it's not fun to listen to them cry when they don't get their way, but I'd much rather deal with that than have a spoiled brat who doesn't get told no when necessary!! We can have them explore and learn in positive ways when they aren't testing their boundaries (and us!), right?
ReplyDelete